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Seeing a ProDom, or Professional Dominatrix, for the first time can be as terrifying as it is thrilling. In my practice, I strive to incorporate education and guidance, especially for those new to seeing a professional switch like myself. How can you stand out?

Finding the Right Fit (for both of us)

Whether it your first time seeking a ProDom dominant/submissive relationship, or coming from the world of “lifestyle” kink, you may be surprised by our rigorous application process, initial interviews, and training process (all of which vary from practitioner to practitioner). I see many newbies, and each is vetted thoroughly. So, you might be asking yourself, what’s with all the hoops I have to jump through?

There are many, many reasons for this.

My approach, and reasoning, can be simplified into three categories. These are the main considerations I take into account before deciding to see a new submissive:

• Ability to follow directions
• Trustworthiness and experience
• Compatibility with my style and skills

Let’s review each of these in turn, so you can decide if seeing a ProDom is right for you.

Following instructions from your ProDom

The first thing I look for is the ability to follow instructions. Did you carefully read my website? Did you fill out the application correctly? Did you respond in a timely manner?

This is your first chance to make your first impression. Make it count! Follow my instructions carefully, and you may find yourself at my leather-clad feet very soon. Do your best to be accurate, honest, and…in a pinch…it never hurts to make me laugh.

Standing out to your ProDom

So, you’ve seen their face on Google, Instagram, Twitter, or perhaps a ProDom directory like this one and you’ve decided who to see.

The application has one question that makes your heart race:

What can I do to improve my chances of selection?

First, send tribute with your application. I know I check my Venmo and Cashapp first thing when I sit down to work. DO NOT say something like “For Domination” “Hi Mistress” or anything that indicates that you are sending this to a ProDom. Sadly, the powers-that-be do not look kindly on our noble profession.

Another way to stand out is to have references from another Dominatrix, play partner, or be able to speak clearly about your experiences. Do not exaggerate your experience. We will know, and lying does not build trust.

Skill and interest compatibility

Finally, are your interests compatible with the ProDom you are applying to? I like to think of myself as adaptive and versatile, but we all have something different to offer. Our specialties and personalities are as unique as we are…so maybe don’t pick a ProDom on appearance alone. I, personally, prefer to accept clients whos interests sound fun, compatible, and match my skill set.

Dominatrix Session Review: Submission By Submissive “Bub”

When I initially approached Mistress Morningstar for her dominatrix sessions, I had a few fantasies in mind –  fantasies I was scared of bringing to my partners at the time.

I also wanted somebody to put me to the test, physically.  Few of my sexual partners have been stronger than I am, and as a sexual submissive and masochist, I really wanted a chance to feel fully, completely dominated, and to let go of all control.  

Mistress was welcoming and professional from the start.  She eased all my anxieties during our first meeting, where She got more details about my fantasies, physical abilities and limits, and discussed safety precautions for the session.  She was straightforward, and totally honest about Her experience and skill with each particular kind of play I sought.   

She was very conscious about COVID precautious – which was a huge weight off my chest!  

Our sessions together…there isn’t a word powerful enough for the joy and release I feel, every time I put myself in Mistress Morningstar’s wicked hands.  I feel completely at ease handing the reins (…and the keys… and the blindfolds… and the nipple clamps…) to Her. 

From the moment I walk in the dungeon, down to the moment I wobble out, She takes tender, savage care of me.  And I adore every second of it.

If I must give any criticism of Mistress (gods forbid! Let’s just call it “constructive feedback”), I would say I want to be hit harder.  However, She knows how to keep me from wearing out too fast.  She knows how to distribute fun and punishment, generously.  There is never a lull in the action, never keeping the suspense too long, and every session, Mistress has a new toy or a new experience for me.  She mixes serious play very well with affectionate humor – even when I’m being a bratty little toy who’s earned a beating, there’s laughter and glee for both of us in the experience.

Mistress Morningstar pushes me right up to the edge of my mental and physical endurance, and keeps me safe from going over the edge.  She is creative and fierce with her sessions.  I trust Her completely.  And, if you haven’t noticed, She is smokin’ hot and sexy as all Hellfire.  My sessions with Her are a monthly treat to savor.  I shiver with anticipation, to imagine what She has in store for me next time.

Service Oriented SUbmission – an introduction

Curious about what it’s like to be in a service-based D/s dynamic? Join us for the first in a series devoted to kinky service submission.

Introducing The Kinky Home Ec Series!

Are you a service submissive looking to expand your skills? Curious about what it’s like to be in a service-based D/s dynamic? Not sure what service submission is exactly but intrigued at the idea?

Then this is the class for you! Kinky Home Ec is an ongoing educational series which deep dives into the “how-to” and “why” of kink based service skills, from leather care to massage techniques to basic DIY repairs and beyond. Each month will feature experts who will share their knowledge with our SUB-stitute teacher – Mischief Morningstar on everyday ways you can make yourself more desirable as a service submissive. You will leave each class with a new skill, as well as insight into your role as a service submissive.

Watch: Kinky Home Ec- What is Service Submission?

In this first edition, we will explore what service submission is and the ways it can enrich your life and the life of your dominant(s). Mistress Viola Parker and Princessa Natasha Strange will give their perspectives on what service submission means to them, and what service skills are most fulfilling for them. We will also be asking YOU, our attendees, what skills you want to learn, or wish you knew more about so you can help shape the series moving forward. While each class will provide ample opportunity for discussion, this one will be heavily discussion based.

Get your copy on Gumroad HERE

Meet your Kinky Home Ec SUB-stitute teacher Mischief Morningstar

Your Kinky Home Ec SUB-stitute teacher is Mischief Morningstar, professional switch and performance artist based in Portland, OR. Purveyor of chaos and fear boners offering creative & fun BDSM experiences to folx of all identifications and all sides of the slash. Proud member of Subrosa and the Portland kink community, they are frequently seen being shamelessly enthusiastic at events and on stage across the Pacific NorthWest. They are a published centerfold, award winning martial artist, and Guinness World Record Holder that believes in sharing their Very Useful skills with the world.

My FemDom style is just that…mine. If you were to search the internet for “What is FemDom”, the answers can be underwhelming. Believe me, I checked. Seems to be unanimously “It’s when a Female Identified person is the Dominant in a BDSM Relationship.” If you found me, you likely know that. If I was a betting devil, and I am when I know I’ll win, I’d wager you want to know more about my philosophies as a Femme Domme (ah, yes, there are many spellings) and how that applies to the relationship we are looking to build together. If you want to explore other styles and philosophies, I am part of this incredible collaboration project called the FemDom Society and you can explore other styles and philosophies here.

Dominance, to me, is a leadership position in the company that is…well…you. Think of me as your Angel Investor. 

Ironic, isn’t it?

It means that you acknowledge my capacity to guide and shape you. To give me the trust to help you grow. That you can set aside your predetermined ideas about your own superiority, and acquiesce to mine. Listen to me, and I will open doors to worlds you never thought existed. Invest your power in me, and I will match your contributions. 

It means that I’m more than a pretty face in a corset and a pair of stylish leather boots. 

Not to brag, but…

(JUST KIDDING…I fucking LOVE to brag)

I am also brilliant, funny, and can likely kick your ass. If you’re under 6’1” I can also kick you in the face. I know this is hard to hear, but there is a very, very good chance that I am objectively better, happier, and more fulfilled than you are. AND THAT’S OK….it’s what I’m here to teach you. If I wasn’t, why would you be here? For the beatings?

I mean…those are pretty fucking great too. If that’s all you want, cool. I will gladly do so with a smile so big that you’ll be worried I might unhinged my jaw and swallow you whole. If I do, lucky you.

However, and this is very important to me, my dominant side and my sadistic/topping side are not the same thing. Consensual pain infliction (sadism, topping, etc) is an act. FemDom is a mindset. 

So, is it an either/or kind of a situation? Of course not! As I said, I am brilliant and can do nearly anything. Physical pain can be an incredibly powerful motivator. Bondage can be unexpectedly liberating. The sensual pleasure and trust that can come from physical interaction can unlock parts of our minds that we didn’t realize we walled off a long time ago. BDSM requires trust and vulnerability, and when we open ourselves to that, it can be like opening a floodgate. 

I know, because that’s what happened to me. And seriously… goddamn…have you seen how good I look in a corset and a pair of stylish leather boots? I must be doing something right.

or delete it, then start writing!